Thanks for the Memories
by Dr.YangOfRavenclaw
Summary: Thanks for the memories, even though they weren't so great. / Emily felt tears start to fall as she stared into the blue eyes she loves, even now. Ian/Emily.


**I wrote the beginning of this awhile ago, and I finally finished it. This is my first CM fic, so please be nice.**

 _All lies will start flawless. But over time they develop cracks. We tell the lies to ourselves and others that they are true for long enough, that they become true. You begin to believe the lies and before you know it, you're living a lie. Sometimes that lie is the best thing that could ever happen to you._

Emily sat in the interrogation room, staring into piercing blue eyes. The piercing blue eyes stared back. She gulped, remembering all the times she's stared into those eyes. When they'd fight, and he won every damn fight because of his damn puppy dog eyes.

When they'd make love, she'd make sure the last thing she saw before she went over the edge were those eyes. When they would just sit and pretend to watch TV, but always ended up making out, she'd stare into those eyes and melt.

"You can't tell me what we had wasn't real. You can't. You felt what we had more than I did. I loved you, Lauren. I'll always love you, Lauren, no matter what." He said this earnestly. She wanted to look away, but she was unable to break the powerful eye contact.

"My name is Emily. Lauren was an alias, she's dead." Emily said, struggling not to cry.

"Then I love Emily too."

Emily wasn't Emily, at least not the same one she was before she met him. When she first met him, she was 100% Emily. Now she felt about 10% Emily. The majority of her was Lauren, and Lauren belonged to him. She knew Morgan and Rossi were watching behind the glass, but she didn't care.

"S'il vous plaît," he began, giving her the puppy eyes. In truth, he didn't do it on purpose. He didn't mean to guilt her into anything, he just was so used to getting whatever he wanted that he did it automatically. "Essayer de nous souvenir."

Emily felt tears start to fall as she stared into the blue eyes she loves, even now.

She got up and ran out of the room, wiping tears from her eyes as she passed Rossi and Morgan. Morgan chased after her, and Rossi turned back to Doyle just in time to see him wipe a tear from his eyes.

Rossi entered the interrogation room, and Ian looked up at him, not even trying to hide the fact that he was crying. "I didn't mean to make her cry." He said, pulling at the handcuffs absentmindedly. Rossi looked down at his feet, unable to meet his eyes. "Emily is our family. You don't get to mess with our family." Rossi said to his shoes, finally meeting Ian's eyes in the end. Immediately, he understood why Emily couldn't stop staring. He broke their eye contact.

"I love Lauren, I would never hurt her. I would never mess with her." Rossi opened his mouth to argue that Emily wasn't Lauren anymore, but he couldn't find it in himself. He couldn't lie to himself anymore. Whatever the team wanted to believe was irrelevant, but he knew, deep down, that Emily wasn't truly Emily anymore. Emily had gotten to the point that she was more Lauren than Emily. And there was nothing he could do about it. Rossi never felt so helpless before in his life. He couldn't do anything to help Emily, he couldn't comfort Ian (not that he necessarily wanted to), and he couldn't wrap his head around the fact that Emily, practically his daughter, wasn't even Emily. She had spent so much of her life denying that she was Lauren that she turned into an Emily that wasn't Emily anymore. They had gotten to know 10% of Emily. That other 90% of Emily had been chopped away, abandoned, attempted to be forgotten.

But it was like a liver. The missing parts regenerated, regrew, and before she knew it, she was Lauren again. Rossi thought this over and came to the conclusion that they had gotten to know 10% of a person. The other 90% was only known by the man sitting in front of him. He was an evil man, a terrorist, a murderer. Rossi could hate it as much as he wanted. He could kick and scream and pound the ground like an angry 2 year old, but it wouldn't make Emily any less Lauren. The only hope they had of ever really knowing Emily was in handcuffs in front of him.

Emily ran until she reached the bench outside the office. She say herself down on the bench, curled her knees into her chest and sobbed. Morgan came running out after her after about a minute. Emily didn't even acknowledge his presence, but she knew he was there. Morgan didn't know what to do, so he sat next to her and wrapped an arm around her. She silently leaned her head on his shoulder.

"It isn't fair." She said, wiping her eyes.

"What isn't fair, Emily. Talk to me, tell me what you're thinking, please." Emily sighed and let her knees down, her feet now flat on the ground.

"He's an evil, evil man. He's a terrorist, a murderer, hell he tried to kill me. But for the life of me I can't figure out why I still love him. There are a million and a half reasons why I should hate him. He's killed hundreds of people, personally and by association, I mean he tried to kill me!" She said, wiping her eyes.

Morgan wrapped an arm around her and she put her head on his shoulder. "You're right, Em. It's not fair. You can't help who you fall in love with. Most of the time it's accidental. A lot of the time it's so powerful it can destroy you." Emily sighed.

"I hate his guts. I hate him so much. I sit here and I think of a million different reasons why I should beat his face in. But at the same time, all I want is for him to hold me again. When I'm alone, late at night, I pretend he's there. I feel like a horrible human being for feeling this, but dear god I want him, Morgan. How do I make that go away?" Morgan got up, started to walk into the building, but turned around and looked into her eyes

"It's simple. You don't."

 **Please ignore my horrible endings. R &R.**


End file.
